Fill In The Blank Friday

1. My favorite quote is "Maturity is: the ability to stick with a job until it is finished; the ability to do a job without being supervised; the ability to carry money without spending it; and the ability to bear an injustice without wanting to get even."-Abigail Van Buren

2. A bad habit I have is I pick my nail polish, I also crack my knuckles alot, more often when I'm tense or nervous.

3. The first time I felt like a "grown up" was I don't even know..I guess that means I'm not a grown up??

4. Weekends are the only time I get to sleep past 5:30 am and the only reason I survive every week.

5. When I was a child I wished my name was According to my mom I never asked her to change my name..and honestly I don't remember if I ever wanted to change my name.

6. I wish I was already done with school so I could get a job and support Joshua myself.

7. A secret I have is that I always wonder where I'd be if I had never had Joshua or if I had given him up for adoption.

Blah

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You’d think being 19 and having a kid would mean I was constantly busy. Well it doesn’t. I kinda hate it too. I wish I had a job. I wish I was already done with school. I wish I didn’t have to rely on my parents. Classes start this Friday. I only go 3 days a week. I know that it would be almost impossible for me to work, go to school, and still be able to take care of Joshua without

1. Putting him on formula/ supplement formula since I am still nursing and I don’t pump

2. Putting him in daycare.

My dad isn’t exactly the most patient person..but neither are most guys. He has the job of taking care of Joshua while I’m at school since he is retired. I’m pretty sure that is close to the limit for him too.

I hate that I don’t have a job and that I can’t support Joshua yet. I HATE it. But it’s what I have to do.

Anyways..

I was talking to a guy friend and he was telling me all of his plans for this summer and what all he’s been up to. He does so much..and I do practically nothing. It’s seriously the most depressing part of all of this. I go to school, come home and take care of Joshua…the next day I do the same thing. Except on Tuesday, Thursday, and on the weekends.

My friends are basically nonexistent. They all have jobs, moved off to college, they’ve gotten married. They all have lives..and no kids. I’m home with my parents and my one year old.

I don’t know what to do about this.